Insanity!
by Invader ZaiFae
Summary: This is a strange, insane, nonsensical story. But read it anyway! Or else I will pester you for all eternity! With skritchy sweaters! (gets hit in the head with a large peice of grain) Shutting up.
1. Default Chapter

You know how people are always writing fics about what would happen if they became part of the life and times of the Zim cast? Well, I decided to write one about what would happen if the cast of Zim came to my life and times. Cool, no? Oh yeah, disclaimer: I don't own any of the Zim stuff (duh) but I own myself and my room and all my stuff (I hope). Hmmm. Oh, I don't own anything from a Bug's life or Anne McCaffery's work or any o' dat stuff either. Anyway, here it goes.   
  
It started out as a weird day for Janella. I mean, every day was weird for her, being the most overobsessive, maniacal, irksome (gotta love that word), and hyper person in her school. But today was extra weird. First of all, she got to stay home from school. Second of all, she had a weird...feeling...that something was going to happen. Third of all, it was thundering and lightning out, but it was the dead of winter. She was bored, having made, baked and glued together a small black dragon to complement her large one, watched A Bug's Life, fantasized all sorts of scenarios about her in the movie, fantasized about her, Dib, her character ZaiFae, and Razor on dragons, all in the movie together, and read an hour's worth of Dragonquest by Anne McCaffery. So she walked upstairs and located her taped copy of The Halloween Spectacular of Spooky Doom. She popped it in the VCR, tucked under the blanket on the couch, and started to enjoy the spookiness. She paused the tape often to act out scenes where she was part of the action, imagining her, as her heroine Lightwing, or her Irken character ZaiFae, both with Dragons from Pern. Right at the part where Dib was explaining how he was getting his visions to the scientists, a huge clap of thunder sounded, she felt something strange around her, and she blacked out.   
  
Dib awoke slowly. There was a throbbing pain in his head, and his entire body felt heavy. He could hear sounds all around him, but didn't want to open his eyes. The last thing he could remember was sitting in class, zoning out while his teacher droned on and on about doom or whatever. All of a sudden he had heard a really loud thunder clap. Everyone had screamed, and then he had blacked out. But he didn't think he was in the classroom anymore. For one thing, he was lying flat, and on a roughly woven rug on a hardwood floor. For another, he couldn't smell his teacher anymore. Not that that was a bad thing, she didn't exactly smell like roses. Not fresh ones anyway. Rotten ones anyway. Also, he felt a dog's tongue on his face. He heard a familiar sounding groan come from nearby. It sounded like Zim. He sat up, painfully opened his eyes, and screamed.   
  
Janella sat up, opened her eyes and stretched. She thought she heard a scream, but there was no one else in the house. She turned to check out her t.v. screen, to see how far into the tape she was, when she gasped. She couldn't believe her eyes! Dib was lying on her floor, and a bronze dragon, obviously newly hatched was staring into his eyes! And there was a golden egg rocking next to the fireplace! She also noticed a small green figure, Zim, and a really small silver one, G.I.R., in the next room. Dib was obviously the one who screamed, and she felt her body moving to his side, urging him to sit up, to caress the dragon's snout, and reassure it. This was just like in her Pern books! It felt like she was running on autopilot. She knew she should be freaking out, or calling the police, or something, but she couldn't. She heard the egg rocking behind her, and spun around. She saw it crack open, and a golden head emerged. The creature looked her in the eye, and she felt a mind contact hers.   
My name is Kialarnth, Janella! The voice of her dragon fills her head. The creature shakes herself, and her multifaceted eyes sparkle with the blue of love. I am hungry, she complains. Janella looks over at Dib. He looks dumbfounded. She sees Zim sitting up and groaning. She walks over to Dib and helps him to his feet.   
"Chizinth says he's hungry," Dib mutters dazedly as she steadies him. At the same time, she heard both Chizinth and Kialarnth say they were hungry to her. He looks around. "Where am I?" he wonders out loud.   
"It doesn't matter," Janella says softly. "Come, we must feed our dragons." She leads him, unresisting, to the refrigerator. "You find all the meat you can in here." She gestures to include the freezer. "Put it in a pile. I will be right back."   
"Okay," he mutters, still distracted. Janella heads down her basement stairs, Kialarnth following carefully behind. She turns around to assist the young dragon. It hasn't occurred to her yet that characters from a cartoon show and a series of books are in her house, her life. She reaches into the freezer in the basement and pulls out all the meat in it. A turkey, some hamburgers, and some hot dogs, and other stuff. She carries it all upstairs and sets it next to the stuff Dib got out. He turns to look at her.   
"Why am I here?" he asks, a little coldly. "How did I get here? Who are you? And why does this dragon keep insisting I "Impressed" it?"   
"Um, ah, lessee, well..." Janella starts. But Kialarnth butts her in the knees, crying piteously. I'm hungry! "Hmm, well guess I better feed my dragon. You too, Dib, I would say." Before he tries to question her further, she starts to rummage through the pile of meat, giving choice tidbits to Kialarnth. After a moment, Dib bends and starts to feed Chizinth.   
  
Zim sat up and felt his head. It was pounding, and he didn't like it. He laid down to relieve the pain when he realized he was no longer in skool. In fact, it felt like he was on another planet. The atmosphere of this one was different. That's what his antennae said. And there was more gravity. He sat up, and slowly opened his eyes. He shook his head, but it only made the pain worse. He groaned.   
"Looks like Sleeping Beauty finally woke up," an unfamiliar feminine voice said, from behind him.   
"So whadda we do with him?" asked a familiar one.   
"Dib," he whispered. Zim staggered to his feet, spun around...and screamed. Dib was there all right, but he had his arm over some winged thingy. Next to him was a stinky human female, with her arm over another winged...thingy.   
The pair looked at each other and nod. The female tackles Zim to the ground. She's strong for a slim earth monkey. He struggled to get out from under her, but to no avail. She had him pinned. He managed to free one arm, and socked her in the jaw. He watched in horror then as the pupils in her eyes lengthened into slits and the irises turned yellow. They started to expand, but she shook her head and her eyes returned to normal. Zim gasped. Slowly she lifted herself off of him, but grabbed the front of his uniform and hauled him up with her. She pulled his face close to hers. He caught a glimpse of the two winged creatures and Dib. All three looked speechless.   
"Listen Zim," the...creature, for that is what she was, holding him snarled. "You are in my dimension now, and I will defend it if need be, you mark my words." She started walking to the door, intending to fling him into the night (where are her parents?). He smiles maliciously. Faster than human eyes can follow, his mechanical spider legs shot out of his backpod. One impaled the human moron through the midsection. She released him, and sank to her knees. The Dib human screamed, and his beast trumpeted, but their sounds were nothing compared to the scream of the girl's golden beast.   
  
  
  
  
Well, that's all. Whaddya think? Should I write more? Well? Should I? Huh? Huh? Sorry, momentary brain snap. Anyway, r&r, k? 


	2. Not so insane

Um. Typee typee type. *Looks up. * Oh, hi! I'm writing the second chapter now. Um, I don't own anything except my stuff and me in my house. The rest of the stuff in this fic belongs to either Jhonen the god or Anne McCaffery the Goddess. Yeah, that sounds right. Okay. Anyway, I don't know what this will be like, cuz I didn't write it yet, but um read it anyway, okay?   
  
  
The human sank to her knees. Zim grinned when he saw the obvious pain in her eyes.   
  
"My tallest," she gasped. Zim started, and jumped back, causing the leg through her middle to snap of. She groaned in pain. The winged beast jumped in the air. She reached up to grab it. "No," she whispered, "stay." She looked down at her stomach, grasped the end of the leg, and with a twist, pulled it out. Miraculously, there was no blood! Zim gasped. That must've hurt the creature a lot, yet she didn't show the pain. And there was no blood! He knew for a fact that humans bled profusely from even the tiniest wound. The human put her hands over the hole through her. She looked down at them, and something happened. When she removed her hand, there was nothing there. Zim was amazed! Humans don't heal that fast! Not even Irkens heal that fast, and it was a proven fact that Irkens were the second fastest healers in the galaxy. Only one race healed faster, and it was thought to be extinct, the planet destroyed long ago by the Irken race. But wasn't there a rumor that one survived?   
  
He felt a breeze coming toward him, and looked up just in time to see a large fist coming straight for his face. It connected before he could jump out of the way, and he fell, unconscious, to the unyielding floor.   
  
Janella massaged her fist. Zim's face was harder than she thought. You're safe, you're safe, Kialarnth crooned in her mind. The little queen rubbed against her future rider, humming with pleasure. Then a voice interrupted their semi-reunion.   
  
"What the hell was THAT?!" Dib demanded.   
  
"Um, what the hell was what?" Janella played the dumb act.   
  
"You know. You get stabbed through the stomach with a robotic leg, and, calm as anything, pull the leg out and the hole is gone!" Janella looks ashamed.   
  
"Well, that's kinda a secret, and well um like nobody kinda knows um and oh shoot." Janella turns away, red tinting her cheeks. Dib feels his there's-something-paranormal-here sense tingling. He reaches out and grabs her shoulder and spins her around.   
  
"You're not human, are you?" Dib asked gently, staring her in the eye. She looked at him knowing from her extreme fandom that she shouldn't say what she was about to say to him, but she did anyway.   
  
"No, not really...no. But I'm not trying to take over the world or anything; I'm just trying to protect it. From Yeerks. And Skrit-na. And him." She jerks her thumb at Zim. "So, no dissections, okay?" Janella raises her eyebrows in entreaty. Dib paused for a minute obviously thinking it over. He looked up at her and smiled.   
  
"No dissections, but only if you show me your true form." Dib said slyly.   
  
"I guess you leave me no choice," Janella said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. Dib watched eagerly as she began to change. First her pupils lengthened into slits. Then her irises turned bright yellow, and expanded to fill her entire eye. She grew, from around five feet to seven feet tall. Her skin began to turn a pinkish-red color, and her face started to grow out. Her hair sucked into her head, and a crest over 2 feet long grew. A sword appeared at her waist and a bow over her shoulder, along with a quiver of arrows. A pair of silvery blue bell-bottoms (I really have these!) grew down her legs, and tall black boots sprouted under them. A plain white tee shirt covered her upper body. Her black necklace with the chipped crystal dolphin continued to hang around her neck. As the final transformation, a pair of o large wings sprouted from her back, but with the ease of long practice, she immediately settled them to her back, where they couldn't be seen, except for their color. She smiled at him. Dib was speechless. He was just about to wake up when they heard a groan from where Zim was laying. Janella, now Lightwing, turned to him, and without a thought, flicked her fingers at him. Bolts of blue lightning crackle from her fingers and hit Zim in the head. He slumps back to the floor, out like a light. Dib starts to say something, but Lightwing glances at the clock and screams. As she screams she turns back to Janella.   
  
"What's wrong?" Dib cries, starting to panic.   
  
"It's 10:55! I'm gonna miss Unsolved Mysteries!!!!!" She grabs his hand and rockets up the stairs and drags him with her. She jumps on her mom's bed and starts to hum, then sing, "doo doo doo doo doo doo doodoodoodoodoo...wait, wrong theme song. That's the X-Files." So she hums in tune to the Unsolved Mysteries theme song, cuz it had just come on.   
  
"Is this show anything like Strange Mysteries of Mysterious Mysteries?" Dib asks.   
  
"Hmmm? No, it is about murder and lost family members." Janella answered. "You would Animal X though. It is like that. It'll be on soon after this." So Janella watches Unsolved Mysteries for two hour, and Dib, recognizing the look of an addict, sits back to wait for the show's end.   
  
Well, whaddya think? I um, I just ran out of things to say. Oh, does anyone know if they even still show Animal X. It is on animal planet, and it is about cool things like Nessie, and the Chupacabra, and Bigfoot. They even did a show on my beloved Jersey Devil!   
Hee hee, I have Chupacabra, Zim, Dib, and Gaz as part of my Spell-Checker Dictionary. 


End file.
